I was invited to speak at a conference in Indonesia on very short notice. In less than three days, I had to put together a presentation, book flights and work out how to get to the hotel in my very first visit to the country. And so I wasn’t feeling my best when I stood in front of the plenary for an hour literally straight from the airport, with my luggage still in hand.
After the presentation, I decided to sit in a small group session to get a more intimate feel of the conference. As soon as I joined the group, I noticed a pretty woman seated across the table who was shyly avoiding eye contact with me. She kept looking down the table most of the time and so I took the opportunity to gaze at her. I noticed that she had really pretty eyes and sweet kissable lips. She had a hint of dainty elegance about her that made me think that she had a privileged childhood – a princess in her own home. I would quickly look away on the few occasions she glanced in my general direction but then conveniently throw my gaze back at her as soon as she looked away. That went on until the end of the session but I didn’t see her again for the rest of the day.
As I was looking for a seat with tray in hand at lunch the following day, I saw her seated with another woman at a table. We exchanged smiles and she politely offered a seat which I was only too happy to take. The discussion over lunch with Ella and her friend was mainly business – about the topic I presented and the theme of the conference. But I couldn’t help appreciate her curves and where the butterfly-shaped pendant hanging from her necklace was resting on. While the presence of her friend kept me from getting into more personal details, I managed to ask her if she was staying at the hotel hoping that I could arrange to meet with her for dinner or after dinner. She said she was going home for the evening because her residence was not that far. I really had no opportunity to speak with her in private because there were many more sessions the following day and she was always around colleagues. I left after two nights stay but not without her email address.
As soon as I got back home, I emailed her with an innocent ‘It was good to meet you at the conference, keep in touch’ message. Her first reply was to ask why I had emailed her and I said that I just wanted to establish a communication line for future professional collaboration. What followed was a series of email exchanges that went from that tone to a more personal one. I told her I was married and had three kids in their teens. I learned that she was married and had two young children. She was quite active and busy – running a business, serving as the secretary of her national association and working part time in a foundation.
I can’t recall exactly how it went from there to us admitting to each other that we found each other attractive. This all happened over emails, mind you. I told her I was staring at her from across the table the whole time during the parallel session and she said she knew I was, making her very self-conscious. How could she have noticed when (I thought) I was so smooth in stealing glances? I really don’t know. She admitted to feeling silly talking to herself when she went to the toilet shortly after, telling herself ‘He couldn’t have been looking at you. Was he?’ while fixing her hair. She said that I caught her attention the moment she saw me walk into the conference venue for my presentation. If we weren’t a country apart, I would have asked to see her and she would have agreed. Instead, we just contented ourselves with idle talk about having a relationship. She called me her ‘fantasy boyfriend’ and said that she liked the way I made her feel very special. I called her my ‘Indonesian Princess’.
It wasn’t until more than two years later when we got an opportunity to meet again. It was another conference. And this time, I wanted to have her in bed straight away. But when she came into my room in the afternoon of the first day, she said she wasn’t ready to do it with me because she wasn’t feeling well and that she was very busy serving as the executive officer of the local conference organizing committee. And so I felt quite frustrated that she left my room without anything happening between us. I made known my disappointment by not responding too enthusiastically to her email messages. She asked if she could visit me in my room the following afternoon. When she came, she said she knew I was upset. She remarked that I looked like a little boy who didn’t get his candy. She also admitted that she wasn’t ready psychologically because it would be her very first time to be with another man other than her husband and she couldn’t understand why I seemed so at ease with the prospect. Didn’t I feel as anxious and guilty as she did? Of course, the last thing I wanted her to know was that it wasn’t my first (or second or third) time to be with another woman. I simply said that after waiting for two long years, it was frustrating not to be able to have her. She pulled me towards the bed and started kissing me while again teasing me that I looked like a little boy who wasn’t getting his treat. After a good minute of kissing, I quickly went for her breasts and she did not resist. Still, at the back of my mind, I was thinking that I might just get to third base given what happened the previous day. And so I was surprised and overjoyed when she lifted her pelvis and started to take off her panties. Needless to say, I felt like a boy handed a bag of candies the next hour and a half and two more times in the days that followed.