I was teaching in high school when I met Shinji, a 17-year old student. At 5’9″, he was taller than most of his classmates. He wasn’t exceptionally good in class but he had a charm about him – he was always very courteous and very attentive, traits that are rare among students his age. Though I tried to dismiss it, I felt a certain fondness for him. I have a thing for tall, pale-skinned guys with chinky eyes and he had all these features. He was always well-groomed and, by his posture, I could tell he was physically fit. And even though I was already 29-years old then, I felt confident because I was still a head-turner and I often caught him staring at my figure.
He would help fix up the classroom at the end of the day and he would volunteer to help me carry books and other things back to my office. One day, I offered to give him a one-on-one tutorial to help him with difficult topics in return for his helpfulness. I did this with other students so it wasn’t like a special treatment given to him. We met at our faculty office which I shared with about eight other colleagues. We sat next to each other at the table that was in the middle of the big room.
It was a fairly straightforward tutorial until midway, as I was elaborating on the topic, when I suddenly felt his elbow graze one of my breasts. I was taken by surprise but I didn’t show it. My instant thought was to move away except that it gave me a pleasurable sensation. At the back of my mind, I had been fantasizing about such an encounter with him but I never expected something like that to happen. Anyway, I held my ground and went ahead with my discussion. He, on the other hand, continued to move his elbow ever so slightly in a way that caressed my breast. I was getting wet and aroused but at the same time I was worried about other people in the room. A quick glance told me that all my three colleagues were busy with work. Reassured, I moved my arm aside to allow him more space and he took advantage of this by pressing against me even more. All of this was happening even as I was trying to carry on with a sensible chatter. But it got to a point that I wanted him to rip off my clothes right there and then. I also felt like dragging him to the nearest vacant classroom.
But somehow, my sense of propriety got the better of me. I knew it was unethical and I was afraid of losing my job and being exposed. I quickly ended the tutorial. Shortly after, he graduated from high school and I’ve never heard from him again since. From time to time, I still wonder what would have happened if I did not exercise discretion that day. It has been 10 years since and I think that I might not show as much restraint if I ever get to meet him again. My husband, who found out about it from me, thinks Shinji will get lucky.